The Beatitudes for Geeks

A Geeks's Interpretation of Matthew 5:3-12 (aka The Beatitudes or the intro to the Sermon on the Mount)

The Geek Attitudes

“Blessed are the four humans,
    for theirs is the kingdom of Narnia.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for at least they will know they're not Cylons.
⁵ Blessed are the geeks,
    for they will inherit middle earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for quidditch,
    for they will fly.
⁷ Blessed are the Whovains,
    for they will be decorate everything with a Tardis.
⁸ Blessed are those who study the cosmos,
    for they will get all the jokes aimed at Sheldon Cooper.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called on to use The Force.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because they were Browncoats,
    for theirs are the Border Planets (so long as they can steer clear of Reavers).

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because they don't get how cool Comic Cons are. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward once you're their boss, for in the same way they persecuted the geeks who were before you.

(I could have easily done this using ONLY Firefly quotes.)