Oh, my dear sweet Lord, forgive me for this post!
My mother-in-law just came over to check on her dog that she abandoned at our house.
Then she proceeded to tell me her next stop on her schedule was the dollar store to buy some “jockey itch ointment that men put on when they get itchy down there.”
Because she’s really dry and itchy down there. She held her crotch when she said it. In my front yard. In front of neighbors.
“Sometimes I have to put ice on it because it hurts, it’s so itchy.”
I choked on my coffee. I might need to go puke now.