Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Funny kid & Crazy Mema

Last night while I watched Castle, the characters were discussing a serial killer. And hour and a half past her bedtime, my six year old daughter walked in the den & overheard the Castle case.

"Mommy, I can't sleep. What's a serial killer?"
I answered, "He doesn't like cereal. He smooshes the boxes whenever he finds them. Cheerios, Rice Krispies, all of them."
She looked confused. "So... he doesn't like cereal, so he kills it? Dat's weird."
I win at parenting.


A few minutes ago my phone rang. I knew better than to answer it, because if it's dinnertime, it's my mother-in-law. Every single night. But I answered it.


"When G spends the night, he doesn't ever turn off the DVD player."

"OK." (Does she want him to do other things, not just watch DVDs?)

"He should turn it off because my body hurts."

"Um... okay." (What?)

"He left it on and I don't remember where the power button is and I've hunched over to try to find it so my knees hurt and neck hurts and arms hurt and all over my body hurts."

"Oh. Sorry. I'll tell him to turn it off before he leaves next time."

"Can he or your husband come tell me where it is?"

"They're both at men's Bible Study and won't be back until around 8:30. They can call you then."

"Oh, that'll be too late. E wants to watch a ball game at 8:00."

(E is my brother-in-law who is crazy, too, but mostly just as lazy as a $2 ho who's already got $10 in her bra. He also makes a sadistic game out of seeing how much he can get other people to do for him.)

So I ask, "Why don't you just tell E to find the button? His vision is fine."

"Oh, E doesn't do anything. He expects me to do everything for him all the time. So I guess I'll have to kneel back down and find it myself. You know if I kneel I can't get back up, right? <long sigh>"

"Yep; some days I can't walk, my knees hurt so bad. I guess if E wants to watch the game, he'll have to help find the power button."

"Well, you don't think your husband could leave Bible study early and come do it for me?"

(Church is 20 minutes due north. Her house is 30 minutes due east.)

"No, I don't think so. He's got to come home so G can go to bed on time - it's a school night, and he's got to get up for work at 5am. But I'll tell him to call when he gets home."

She hung up on me.

And she called back while I was typing this, but I didn't answer. I'm making dinner. Really, I am. Shut up. There's an egg boiling for the chef salad.

Knowing E, he was snickering through the whole conversation, knowing that he can manipulate his mother like that. Some days, I'm just proud of myself for not punching him at family events. Those two are the definition of co-dependant & enabler.


I'm going to go laugh at my funny children some more so I don't dwell. I'm so glad I have y'all to vent to.

Have fun, y'all!  :)

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