Friday, March 22, 2013

Well, la dee da.

My mom wouldn't say "wow" or "Oh my gosh" or anything like that when she was pleasantly surprised when I was a kid. She could cuss like a Russian sailor who ran out of vodka when she was mad (though she doesn't remember that now), but her pleasantly-surprised phrase of choice was, "Well... la... deee... da."

I got one of those moments yesterday when I opened my e-mail, and it made me cry.

The fight with my husband a few weeks ago was the only one we've had since January 5, and things have been steadily improving. He listened to the things I insisted had to change and has been working to change them. He really hasn't helped much more with chores, but it's okay, because he's appreciative of what I do and doesn't focus on what's still to do. It's like a light came on and he understands now how much work there is all the time, and that it can't all possibly get done. He's kinder, he backs me up when I tell the kids to help, and he helps when he can. He's enjoying the kids more & our relationship has improved.

He has also been trying to counsel a young couple at church with two babies who are so in love but can't manage to be able to live under the same roof. At first, it was highly hypocritical, because he was still doing things that he was telling this young man to stop doing. But he'd occasionally ask how a behavior made me feel, because he was trying to get the guy to see what he was doing to his wife. My answers frequently began with, "Well, when you do that, I think/feel...", and he'd be surprised that I thought he did the same things. I'd give examples - gently and nonchalantly so as not to start an argument - then continue whatever I'd been doing, leaving him to ponder his revelation. Lately, though, I've been able to answer with, "Well, when you used to do that, I'd feel... but you haven't been doing that lately, so now I feel...". Apparently, this tact has worked, along with prayer and fasting.

So I wanted to share this blessing I received with you to remind you that prayer and perseverance do pay off, and that I appreciate your prayers for me.

This is yesterday's email from my husband. The subject line simply said, "You".

Talking to [our young friend] last night reminded me of all the stupid, self-centered, damaging things that I have done to you and our marriage. I don't know if I ever really apologized to you or told you how much I appreciate you.
I am sorry for ALL of the muck and junk that I dragged into our lives and made you deal with.  I don't know how you put up with it but I praise God that you did and are still here. I know it wasn't easy sometimes. I'm glad you are still my wife and best friend.
I do appreciate you and all that you do; around the house, taking care of the kids, teaching /training the kids and keeping me involved in everyone's life.
I love looking at you in the morning!
Have a blessed day!
Are you teary? I am. Again.
Praise the Lord.

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