Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Hangin' Tough

Yesterday morning, I introduced my children to the glory that is '80's music. They saw a video of  The Freedom Sound doing a spoof-compilation song of lots of different pop songs that all use the same four chords.

But my short people didn't know any of the songs.

YouTube to the rescue!

First, a-ha!'s "Take On Me."
Then MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This."
And then Boy George's "Karma Chamelion."

And so on, until they were so apalled by the comically horrifying fashion designs that they couldn't bear to watch anymore. I swear, they acted like they were being scarred for life.

Maybe they were. Looking at '80's fashion is like looking at a traffic accident. One involving a clown car. You can't look away, you feel confused, you know you shouldn't laugh. But you do.

The kicker was when I said, "That guy's name is Boy George."

To which they replied, "What guy?"

Exactly. "Him. Singing. That's a man."


They walked away, shaking their little heads.

M was not too thrilled when I pointed out that the boys in One Direction dress a lot like the New Kids, with their stupid striped pants. She objected to their hair and earrings, but not their clothes. She just thought it was odd. And she thought Joey was cute & Donnie was scary - just like I did when I was 10.

But what blows my mind is that the retro teens are trying to bring back what was torturous the first go-round. Yesterday afternoon, three teenage girls were walking in the neighborhood, smacking gum and talking so loudly that I could hear them inside my house. Their bangs were so big you ride a surfboard on them. Except for the one with the afro. And big hoop earrings & skinny jeans & big glasses & big baggy shirts? LEG WARMERS for cryin' out loud!!! They looked like Denise & Vanessa Huxtable plus a friend.

Gimme a break!

(Ooh. That was a good '80's show. Useless factoid of the day - Nell Carter was from Birmingham, AL.)

The only thing different was that they had iPods instead of Walkmans. (Or is it Walkmen?)

OH. And GET THIS. New Kids, 98 Degrees, and Boyz II Men are on tour together. Like, now. For real. What?!  And they're probably better now than they ever were, to be honest. Boyz II Men were always incredible, but I bet the other two bands can actually put out some quality harmonies since they're not trying to do dorky boy band dance moves. And I'm ashamed to admit, I might would be willing to go to one of those concerts. I didn't want to when I was in 6th-8th grades, but maybe now I'd enjoy it.

And Donnie's totally hot now.

So, now, I'm going to go play some Bell Biv Devoe.  That girl is poiiisonnnnnn!

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