Hot bath means... relaxing and shaving trying to make
before a night out. knees not hurt.
Adding bath salts means... touchably smooth, epsom salts for
vanilla-scented skin. those knees.
Tweezing is for... perfectly sculpted random wiry
eyebrows. chin hairs that
grow an inch a night.
Lotion will... keep your golden make you think you won't
tan from fading. wrinkle into a prune.
Soft skin is... tight and smooth. like an over-ripe peach.
Aphrodisiacs include... strawberries and someone else doing the
chocolate. dishes and leaving you
the heck alone.
Date night is... dinner with a glass Home Depot and
of wine and a movie. Books-A-Million.
Lotion smells like... coconuts. BenGay.
I'm almost 35... and I seem to already be gettin' old. But it's okay. I'll take it over the insecurity of youth any day. :)