Wednesday, February 15, 2012

How to eat healthy the right way.

A few years ago somebody with a pyramid scheme - I mean a selling-overpriced-crap-at-home-parties business opportunity - for a company selling natural cleaning supplies called my phone. I remember telling her that I was fine using Clorox and Ajax, and she said, "Don't you care about how much your children are exposed to chemicals, and how much they can harm their health?" I said, "Um, not really." I mean, I've been contaminated by chemicals my whole life, and I'm healthy. Plus, I hate selling stuff. She gave up on me and hung up.

But, after learning all I can about neurological problems, causes, and treatments in an effort to help G, I have now reversed my opinion.

I now mostly clean with white vinegar and baking soda, and it works great. And I've taken the chemicals out of our diets.

I have always eaten healthy: not much fast food, lean meats, skim milk, not much fried food, Smart Balance spread instead of butter, and Splenda instead of sugar. I drank diet Mountain Dew like it was about to become illegal (like kids taking sack lunch to school - did you hear about schools taking kids' lunches and forcing them to buy chicken nuggets?). And I exercised fairly regularly.

But I couldn't get rid of post-twin-babies weight. (They were giants.)

So now I've gotten rid of all those "healthy alternatives" and the Dew. I tore out my pantry with my bare hands (and a Sawz-all: I am woman, hear me use power tools!) and added a second fridge, so I can buy fresh and frozen produce, nothing canned (except Campbell's cream of mushroom, because there's just nothing better in a casserole). I buy organic as much as possible and check labels for sodium and ingredients I can't pronounce. I drink coffee with homemade cream (today was almond-hazelnut-vanilla) that's to die for. I use real butter and olive oil and real sugar or stevia-in-the-raw. I make my tortilla chips and my granola and my bread. I eat bacon and cage-free eggs and put real maple syrup on my pancakes.

I planted a garden and have fresh spinach, broccoli, bell peppers, strawberries, blackberries, tomatoes, oregano, basil, stevia and garlic. The neighbors are impressed. I keep telling the kids I'm going to get some chickens, too, so we'll always have fresh eggs. How pissed would my neighbors be about that, ya think?

I have always hated to cook. But now things taste better, don't have chemicals, and - get this - I have lost weight. The more I tried to lose weight by eating healthier, the more it stuck to me. And, yeah, I go to gymnastics, but that's just two hours a week, so you can't really say I'm exercising more. Plus I'm sitting here typing far more than I ever have.

I've lost the equivalent of my right leg just by eating real food. I had a Whopper last week when my MIL wanted us to eat out with her (that hour and a half could fuel several posts - she's so friggin' nuts), and I felt like I'd swallowed hardened roadkill. Heavy, disgusting, nauseated. I haven't have any partially hydrogenated anything in so long that a little burger made me wanna hurl.

I eat as much as I want of whatever I want, and long as I make it from scratch. So pecan pralines may be calling my name from the page of the cookbook, but it's way to dang much mess to actually bother making it, so I don't bother. Hence, I'm not really eating sweets. Unless you count the cream in my coffee. Lord help me if I ever get a maid, though; I'll be as big as a house.

I still hate to cook. But I like what it's producing in me (which is less butt and more energy) so I'll keep eating bread and bacon and steak and pasta and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. But I'm keeping it real.

I'm telling the truth. I've lost almost 3 jeans sizes. It really works!

**Here's a site with good natural coffee creamer recipes: