I've got four kids. The boy/ girl twins just turned five, there's a 7 1/2 year old girl, and a 14 year old boy. Since some of you don't actually know me, I'll use their first initials instead of their names. I considered giving them nicknames, but couldn't think of good ones that weren't sarcastic. The girls would be easy, though. They already call themselves "Drama Queen" and "Prissy Missy." My little boy could easily be "Superman;" I already call him that anyway. But if you've ever attempted raising a 14-year-old, you would understand my difficulty with thinking up a non-pejorative nickname for anyone of that age. So the girl twin will from here on out be GA (G for girl), the boy twin BA, bigger girl M, and big boy G.
But they keep me laughing all the time, and I thought I'd share some recent conversations with you.
I was teaching BA how to bathe himself, and got to his boy parts.
Me: "Now wash your tinkler & nuts."
BA: "I have nuts?"
Me: "Um yeah."
Me, laughing: "No, more like peanuts."
I showed him where. Now, little boys are handsy with themselves, it's normal, so he was already hands-on.
So I said, "See how it feels like there are two nuts in there?"
He looked up, totally shocked, and yelled, "There's food ?!"
A couple of Sundays ago, I felt pretty good after a decent night's sleep. Minimal make-up, and liked how I looked. Then, getting out of the car for church, GA looked at me & said, "Mommy, I think you need to put on more make-up. You not lookin' very specially bootiful this morning." Why, thank you, child. I appreciate that.
BA: "Did Pontius Pilate live in a plane?" Me: "No, why do you think he lived in a plane?" BA: "Because pilots fly planes."
Hope I made you laugh!